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Drugs Ruined My Favorite People

by ART FOR STARTERS

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1.
PINPRICK BY PRICK Disappointed people, I’ll leave behind when I’m gone. It wasn’t worth it to experiment, still curious after all. Disappointed people, all been lost in the valley I’m told. Disappointed people; trap ‘em in glass and set ‘em in stone. It’s hard to hide from a sentiment with baggage alone. (So keep that luggage empty for once.) I will bottle debilitating places we go to keep them safe at home. Drain the shame from your fingertips with a needle prick by prick. Find the shade that you need to get when the burning rides up you neck. The body will be elevated to the mind, but if you think about it, it will paralyze. Disappointed people; gather around and you won’t be exposed, even though you’re getting tired, gotta stay composed (Give an amount and it will amount.) Harvest atrophied bodies and cover your nose. The body’s blessed by the natural ability to decompose; I’m leaving my bones. Back up burden, I don’t want to meet you now. So assertive and you’re always around. Back up burden, I will defeat you now. So determined, lets go another round. (Save it for when the sun is down) Back bone, get one, you can’t use mine. Disowned by everyone, it’s just a matter of time. Join together, birds of the feather, same as ever, why do clipped wings still survive? Who knows the word for binding me, I defer.
2.
I HOPE ANTS CRAWL UNDER YOUR EYELIDS (ON A SATURDAY NIGHT) I’ll leave so long as you do not say I’m wrong, I need affirmation to prove that I haven’t given up. Is it yours to take, all the efforts that I gave, While I’ve been exhausted with your weight, When all that you offer is complaint. “Oh no…” Not what I asked for, this is not what I'm getting into. Can you take it? I'm sorry if I fail Can you take it? I'm sorry for that too. This is not what I don't even ask for from you. Leaving on my own terms! Living in my own daylight, Inviting more. I’m waiting in the valley below. I'm leaving on my own terms! Waiting on any old day I might. I took a bite and I liked it! But I fight it. I know I could be happy for the first time in my life. And I see it, but I stall it, ‘cause I don't know if it's what I want. I might be happy for the first time in my life. I don’t want to talk, ‘cause my words always fail. You know by the way I walk that I stutter step. (While I catch my breath.) And I just lost my thought; I guess it’s just as well. (I won’t go...) I've been a burden to you much too long. (And i still don't go) I'd like to apologize, but the words all come out wrong. It's not like the first time that we spoke--the words came out right--I was just trying to impress you. Standing on a corner on a Saturday night. And the signs of life are shining, but there’s none that you like, ‘Cause you’re standing on a corner on a Saturday night. And you’re trying to be patient, but you’re way short on time. (I know I could be happy for the first time in my life.) And you’re standing on a corner on a Saturday night. And you bide your time and swallow anything for your pride. But it’s bound to bind your motor skills and leak out you’re eyes, ‘Cause you can’t control behavior when it might paralyze. (I know I could be happy for the first time in my life) Derelict and truant terror under tux, tails and ties When we’re standing on a corner on a Saturday night. And the way this moments going, well you know it aint right; (No one can tell you who you are no more) Drop a pill in friendly glasses, but don’t forget to stir the wine! (Hah-Hah-Hah-Hey!) Standing on the corner on a Saturday night. Now, I’m learning that I’ll never be the type that you like. Still, I’m standing on the corner on a Saturday night. Just keep waiting I’ll be saying all the words that you like. (Any day I’m a star…who raped the world) While I squint my eyes in wonder as I watch for the sign, But the light burns out my retina as I look to the sky. And I’m thinking time was wasted on the days you were blind When I was standing on the corner on a Saturday night. And the things we have in common are the things that we hide When we’re standing on a/the corner on a Saturday night.
3.
Better Best 03:52
BETTER BEST Don’t let ‘em know who I want to be. (Don’t let ‘em know; As if I were free.) Don’t let em take my pain, cuz it’s mine. Gotta find my way. Gotta find my place. (In my own way. In my own time.) The latter part of change is the least to remind I’ve tried my best while I’ve got a leash around my neck. When your idle hands are free cut me some slack. All I want is beyond my arms. All I need I can’t reach. I will try my best but never feel like it’s enough. Trying to lead while catching up. All this disappointment in my life, I won’t deny it, Just don’t rewind it. All this disappointment in my life, All this disappointment in my life. All I’ve got I got by my arms. All I’ve not I haven’t tried hard enough. All I ever want isn’t rational to choose. At least I haven’t tried to follow suit. You’re trying your best, but you’re best won’t do. If you’re looking for credit, you’re not going to get it. We use our contempt to discourage you. And the only reason why, we’re afraid to try! All I fought is worth the loss! I am a longshot but not for long. Trying to make it all on my own, But only because no help has ever been shown. I’ve tried my best, but I’m not about to break my back. I’ve already broken more than that.
4.
5.
I THINK I’M SUFFERING FROM MENOPAUSE (aka 11:34) Everything I said before always had an element of remorse, And you’d feel it if you have some too. All the vices I abhor ended up dissolving what I adore. I spilled it, but I should’ve never let it absorb. I’ve been a part of it when I knew better. I let the teeth sink in; I gave it flavor. I should have kept my skin away from danger. It was so evident by the things you used to chew. (Not Yet)The greater weight will always sink to the bottom. The deeper that it goes the more that it’s true. You’ll never lose the guilt, but I want to be there to witness when you do. You’ll swing from broken neck and twisted collar; You’re not cursed; the curse is you! Make something up to conceal your own problem; I’d expect that from you. Got caught, the description fits, Thrown in the fire. You can’t come clean of it with soap and water. The glove and shoe both fit; You’re not a martyr! A lie has truth to it, so people believe them both. The history is told before it can unfold. I gotta save a little bit, I’m gonna run away with my head on my shoulders. I know I said I wouldn’t do it, but I have to try. I have to try. I never beg, I’d rather sweat, I’m gonna runaway, brush the weight off my shoulders. I never said my goodbyes, but now that can’t matter anymore. Need I say anymore? I said I didn’t. You said I did. Gotta get control of it before they take it over. So I’m not looking over my shoulder. I took it on the chin, might have stumbled a bit, but I’m stronger. You talk about it, while I make a record!! I am all I am! I have done all I can!
6.
88 DOCTORS (TEAM AWESOME) Know right away who I carry to bed. Know right away how to bury the dead. “Drink from the pitcher I fill, lala.” “Into the stomachs I chill, lala.” “Out of the bladders I spill, lala.” Why when I’m awake, eyes are open and they’re filling with lead? –I don’t know. Why my complaint turns to jelly when the hammer is set? –I don’t know. “Take from the message I steal, lala.” “Pass off as heavenly will, lala.” “In for the prominent kill, lala.” “Bow for permission, bow now.” Doubt that the mission that I’m missing is the same (as it is) in my head. Out of my system, but my fingers try to pull it in. Doubt that the people still remember things that I might have said. Oh, but even wrong, the memory is all that’s left. It’s almost over, Get up! Get up! Get up! Look how they look at you. It doesn’t feel right. It’s never over. Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! This doesn’t concern you. “So who cares if it’s real, Dave. It isn’t perfect and it never will.” You’re always saying I won’t get it right, So at least you’re saying something’s true. So let’s draw that line. Now there’s a business to revisit before we get anywhere. The first sign of anger is the evidence that you really care. Down to the business of forgiveness, is there any to share? I’ve always gotta get it, never give it, nothings left. When nothing feels good, Get up! Get up! Get up! What are we supposed to do? Well, I just told you! The worst is over. The test is only mood. Tim Kasher says it too. So who cares, is it worth it? It isn’t perfect and it never will. There’s always someone there to save a life, And at least someone to take a few. It doesn’t feel right! Look over your shoulder; They grin when they need to. The chill of scavengers! It doesn’t feel right! It’s over, can’t you tell. I will anticipate there’s something warm to make it go away.
7.
BURN DOWN THE CHOIR WITH WHORE’S FIRE AND DEVIL’S IRE (Aka Striking These Chords) Don’t be alarmed, there’s no choice as to when it’s your time. Instead of acting kind, show your teeth and I will show you mine. It’s not about the rope you climb as much as it’s about the height. And what you neglect will eventually bind. I swear it’s lost – the light we were given. Six feet, dig it deep, bury me now. Well, I shouldn’t talk of the torch or its burning. I was one of the mouths blowing it out. Now forced to choose between who you will and will not side. Taken for a ride even though I’m on the drivers side. Dismantled what was mine to start. Embrace remains to start with new art. So I’ll take these crumbs to feast upon new ones. I haven’t got the apology you’ve given. Knowing me and knowing you, you’ll never live it down. The blood-thirsty stop, but only when they’re chewing. Quenching their thirst from the veins I guard. I swear I’m not forcing my dominion. Glowing with irony, let it be found. I can smell the rot, still miles from the ruin. I find a recovery through words that I sing. I’m striking these chords/cords so you can feel it. We’ve gotta have what we’ve gained a taste for, And what we see that’s lying around. We’re far too high to help each other down. We’ve got it back; desire to declare war. So why are we still standing around? We’ve got nothing to be fighting about. But that hasn’t stopped us before…
8.
9.
YOU DESERVE A DISEASE You try to make this last, but you can’t even face your past. You gotta get a cut of individual incision. Gotta have the grace of indivisible decision. Get up on time, Hey! If it takes all night! Try to pull the stitches out that hold us all together. Gather all the stuffing to secure for colder weather. Two times were enough to make me want to sure up the wall. It crumbled on top of me and you stood there watching it fall. I’ve wasted all this time with you, and I think I might have chipped my tooth, but at least I can smile! You deserve a disease and you got it. One that tears through your guts, yeah! You deserve at least 3 at a time. And there’s no better time like the one you’ve defined. There’s no better time than the prime of your life! Gotta stand up straight, gotta clear my mind, the more I hesitate, the problems multiply. Only got one die but still I need to roll a seven. Forcing empty hands to give me what I need to get in. Of all the things I’ve done, that’s the only one that I consider all my fault. I’m not sure, but who is…what to take from all this. It’s understated, what I’m saying, But I’ve said enough, you’re just out of touch, And I think my voice can’t get any higher! One sound can connect a tune, One voice can persuade a few, But it might take a while. Can you handle the pressure you reflect when you cross a mirror? Glassy-eyed and blood shot, but you’re never tired. I’ll never have the mind to do all the things that you have conspired to. So, at least I can still smile! Complication is a company word That’s all for the sake to improve. That’s the least you can do. I will lay in my body bag, matching colors with the toe tag. Spell my name right or I’ll have to come back to haunt every fiber and bone that should have left me alone.
10.
DICTION I have no way to show you how to get the things you want. I failed myself each time I’ve tried so you will also be flying blind. I wanna know how it feels on the green grass of Beverly Hills Where the spotlight brightens my day and warms my night. Will I have to make compromise and depend on some skillful reprise? Is it my name or is it my blood that’s on the line? Is it more than a show? Does it follow me home? What’s my name? What’s my line? I forget most the time when undefined. So what would you call it? Is there a better word for dignity? And so what if they want it? Value-traded popularity. Lie flat on the table. Now we will perform your autopsy. And finally know what you’re made of, Verses what we’ve created, And defend disparity. Well, I am finally here on the green grass of Beverly Hills. Like I’ve imagined every day, all my life. I want to live creatively free so I won’t dance to every beat. Even though I do suppose I’m keeping time. Is it cold when the chill of the crowds change their will? When their words meet your ears and what they have to say may be true but you won’t hear? You won’t hear. So what would you call it? I need a little dose of decency? And so what if they want it, Value-traded popularity? Lie flat on the table. Now we will perform your autopsy. And finally know what you’re made of, Verses what you’ve created, And defend disparity.
11.
DISQUIET TREMBLOR Stitches pulled and strained, Patches torn and frayed. Disfranchised, the pace of sonnet, the grace of pantomime. I suppose I’ll chase if you force the race. (On borrowed time) But I don’t wanna chase the ghost inside. I’d rather wait till morning if it stays the night. If you’ve got the medicine, I’ll take it. Invite the infant and I’ll shake it. Out to find the one I won’t swallow when I could be at the end of my bottle. Hush your mouth and I’ll speak mine. Read your books and I’ll write mine. Blink your eyes and I’ll wipe mine. (Wake a ghost) Well it’s too close to see or feel or recognize the problem to solve it now. And that’s the kink in your plan. You’re better off ignoring meaning than try to define it! Since I’ve got the medicine, I’ll take it. If I lose the symptoms, then I’ll fake it. Another pill that you swallow that’s designed to keep you feeling so hollow. Another problems been inflated. Give it up, but only after operated. There may not be a tomorrow. If you need some time I’ve got some to borrow. If I got this dance, I’m gonna get the chance to get away like I should do. If I got this dance, will I afford to take the pain or give it back? If I got this dance, I will not hurt you Mother if I got this dance, I’m gonna have to hold you. Mother if I’ve got this dance, I’ll take step and you follow. And defend romance then, I’ll never beg or borrow, ah-ha! If I got this dance, baby, gotta give me your hand. And I’ll grow to a man, if I’ve got this dance!
12.
BORED WITH THINGS Bored with things. Bored with things. Note on the table, and I’m gone. Bored with things. Bored with things. Since I remember, I’ve been bored with things. I’m a novelty that’s overplayed. Leave my family and I’ll be saved. I’m bored with things. Bored with things. It’s so predictable. I’m bored with things. I’m a mother and I want to leave. Child and husband can be so mundane. I want to leave behind things boring life I made. But I know I wouldn’t forgive myself so I just write it on a page. Bored with things. Bored with things.
13.
Mark So Made 05:12
MARK SO MADE Every purpose brings an eminent goal. Takes a degree or element of control. I’ve had enough and I’m giving it back. Return the magnet where the feelings attach. When I don’t talk don’t suppose that I’ve got more words to disappoint on my mind. Every fire is a fire I want, burning up along my way to the sun. “Desperate for control, never do what you’re told.” Sometimes there’s fire in my eyes. Boils tears and hope I’ve stored. But don’t take it too seriously. (Every fire is conceived by something higher) I’ve caught on fire before. Relax, and pull your wings right off of your back. Don’t you like it just like that? Relax, and notice the other side of the tracks. Don’t you hate it how people act? Don’t pout, don’t blame, I’m living out what I can’t change. Sometimes the wind is meant to blow a certain way. A permanent mark leaves a place to end. Now to find the place to start, you might have to descend. Cut me to pieces on the dotted line. I seem to wear marks where my skin meets the spine. Every hero needs a natural foe. Gain more confidence the further you go. I feel the same way at this moment as when I find what I want and will never afford. Hold tight, A-frame, I can’t support more than my weight. The tide will change, and if it won’t I’ll take the shore. (Don’t want to sail anymore?) Stand high; swim deep, if you can stand the sting. I’m taking it out tonight; I’m taking it for a ride! It’s not a measured attack against your hesitance. I’ve always stumbled before when I’d fall. To find a better approach to things I’m up against. 50-foot latter. 40-foot wall. It’s not a measured attack; OK, I guess it is. It’s overwhelming so sometimes you gotta push it back. But save some energy for the things you really need. When you think about how you’re so small.
14.
THE BONE STOPPED THE BULLET Better use your mind (I told you that) The purpose is to use your mind It’s better to be strong But you miss the point if you just cannot get along Stand strong don’t quit It’s gonna have to sink in konk konk Stand strong don’t quit And don’t fall in love Shoot first ask the questions later No one did you a favor Only need convenient competition Greet the meek the flowers and demise Rock to sleep their first born crying babies (and tie ‘em up) Do their tear ducts ever dry? (De-flower and divide) When I shoot first, ask the questions later Salt tears are my favorite flavor Or “milk tears, serve em hot, yeah!” Deep down I’m an incubator I live for button-flies, sweet deals and pillow fights, there’s nothing better! Shoot first, ask the questions later It knows where to go It’s got a mind of its own Don’t keep the bullet from the habitator Shoot first, ask the questions later He knows where to go Do what I told you boy and don’t waste a second or we’ll get someone else If your stomach turns and knots and groans, don’t let it appall you, it’s just proof that you’ve won. Shoot first; ask the questions later (gotta gun) I’ll know where to go (gotta gun) ‘cause I’ve been their befo’ (gotta gun) Don’t keep the bullet from its habitator Shoot first; ask the questions later (gotta gun) I know where to go Pay no mind to the conscience that comes behind an exceeding quarter or suit on back order Pay no mind to the cross that you might find on the chest of a stranger or yard of a neighbor You might find to turn a cheek you’ll save more time But I will remember, forever linger String on a finger will always come untied They’ll Deflower, overpower and divide Nowhere’s home to nowhere But the bullet’s always begging for the ride Better use my mind The purpose is to use my mind It’s better to be strong I miss the point if I cannot get along Stand strong don’t quit There’s a lesson I’ll soon forget Stand strong don’t quit And don’t fall in love.
15.
DRUGS RUINED MY FAVORITE PEOPLE (TRUE TO FORM) I only feel good when I’m singing I only feel good with guitar But I only feel good when I’m playing in my own way True to form, they hate me even more But mild anger bleeds remorse You’re violently poised and deceiving You’ve blindfolded the eyes to your soul The basis for permanent healing Is the rule you can’t heal on your own And I am yearning for healing And I am ready for calm So the palm must pressed to the wound True to form, they hate me even more And lie blameless to distort I’ll fly away and fly alone While my truth will take its form I can’t go back But if I could I would have never done that And if I could go back I would have let you sink without stretching out my hand Who is it, who do you love? Is it me, is it you, is it the music, or is it the drugs? It’s either the music or the drugs.
16.
Roman Crimes 03:46
Odd girl.
17.
SAFE & SOUND (FLESH INCARNATE) I want a collar in my bed. Dishonor calling, it might of heard what I said. And the words of promise isn’t what you promised. All I’ve got inside is noise. And broken heartbeats- Trapped in back seats- Roll down a/the window I can’t breathe. Scabbed and pissed on photograss I’m still… Wading low. Waning low.
18.
JUST CAN’T SLEEP BEFORE I SAY THIS Gotta get this off my chest With some broken English you’ll get Gotta get this off my chest With some of those words I used to share with you We used to finish each others’ sentences We used to follow that with favored pause (and not gather flaws) Now it’s on purpose The things I naturally do I’m taking all the painkillers my doctor told me to Bound by the lowly apology that will eventually have to give to you I hope that you didn’t pretend to sleep when/if you were so confused and way too scared to move Too many short days let ‘em last Too many sharp pains let ‘em pass Too many sharp pains.

about

Full Title: DRUGS MADE MY FAVORITE BANDS, DRUGS RUINED MY FAVORITE PEOPLE.

ALLY030
SUNSETALLIANCE.COM
***Digital album does not come with the songs from the 2nd disc. The only way to get all 25 songs is to purchase the physical copy of the CD.


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LYRICS
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ART FOR STARTERS
Drugs Made My Favorite Bands, Drugs Ruined My Favorite People.

PINPRICK BY PRICK

Disappointed people, I’ll leave behind when I’m gone.
It wasn’t worth it to experiment, still curious after all.
Disappointed people, all been lost in the valley I’m told.
Disappointed people; trap ‘em in glass and set ‘em in stone.

It’s hard to hide from a sentiment with baggage alone. (So keep that luggage empty for once.)
I will bottle debilitating places we go to keep them safe at home.

Drain the shame from your fingertips with a needle prick by prick.
Find the shade that you need to get when the burning rides up you neck.
The body will be elevated to the mind, but if you think about it, it will paralyze.
Disappointed people; gather around and you won’t be exposed, even though you’re getting tired, gotta stay composed (Give an amount and it will amount.)

Harvest atrophied bodies and cover your nose.
The body’s blessed by the natural ability to decompose; I’m leaving my bones.

Back up burden, I don’t want to meet you now.
So assertive and you’re always around.
Back up burden, I will defeat you now.
So determined, lets go another round.
(Save it for when the sun is down)

Back bone, get one, you can’t use mine.
Disowned by everyone, it’s just a matter of time.
Join together, birds of the feather, same as ever, why do clipped wings still survive?
Who knows the word for binding me, I defer.


I HOPE ANTS CRAWL UNDER YOUR EYELIDS (ON A SATURDAY NIGHT)

I’ll leave so long as you do not say I’m wrong,
I need affirmation to prove that I haven’t given up.
Is it yours to take, all the efforts that I gave,
While I’ve been exhausted with your weight,
When all that you offer is complaint. “Oh no…”

Not what I asked for, this is not what I'm getting into.
Can you take it? I'm sorry if I fail
Can you take it? I'm sorry for that too.
This is not what I don't even ask for from you.

Leaving on my own terms!
Living in my own daylight,
Inviting more.
I’m waiting in the valley below.

I'm leaving on my own terms!
Waiting on any old day I might.
I took a bite and I liked it! But I fight it.

I know I could be happy for the first time in my life.
And I see it, but I stall it, ‘cause I don't know if it's what I want.
I might be happy for the first time in my life.

I don’t want to talk, ‘cause my words always fail.
You know by the way I walk that I stutter step. (While I catch my breath.)
And I just lost my thought; I guess it’s just as well.

(I won’t go...) I've been a burden to you much too long.
(And i still don't go) I'd like to apologize, but the words all come out wrong.
It's not like the first time that we spoke--the words came out right--I was just trying to impress you.

Standing on a corner on a Saturday night.
And the signs of life are shining, but there’s none that you like,
‘Cause you’re standing on a corner on a Saturday night.
And you’re trying to be patient, but you’re way short on time.
(I know I could be happy for the first time in my life.)
And you’re standing on a corner on a Saturday night.
And you bide your time and swallow anything for your pride.
But it’s bound to bind your motor skills and leak out you’re eyes,
‘Cause you can’t control behavior when it might paralyze.
(I know I could be happy for the first time in my life)
Derelict and truant terror under tux, tails and ties
When we’re standing on a corner on a Saturday night.
And the way this moments going, well you know it aint right;
(No one can tell you who you are no more)
Drop a pill in friendly glasses, but don’t forget to stir the wine!
(Hah-Hah-Hah-Hey!)

Standing on the corner on a Saturday night.
Now, I’m learning that I’ll never be the type that you like.
Still, I’m standing on the corner on a Saturday night.
Just keep waiting I’ll be saying all the words that you like.
(Any day I’m a star…who raped the world)
While I squint my eyes in wonder as I watch for the sign,
But the light burns out my retina as I look to the sky.
And I’m thinking time was wasted on the days you were blind
When I was standing on the corner on a Saturday night.
And the things we have in common are the things that we hide
When we’re standing on a/the corner on a Saturday night.


BETTER BEST

Don’t let ‘em know who I want to be.
(Don’t let ‘em know; As if I were free.)
Don’t let em take my pain, cuz it’s mine.
Gotta find my way. Gotta find my place.
(In my own way. In my own time.)
The latter part of change is the least to remind

I’ve tried my best while I’ve got a leash around my neck.
When your idle hands are free cut me some slack.

All I want is beyond my arms.
All I need I can’t reach.
I will try my best but never feel like it’s enough.
Trying to lead while catching up.

All this disappointment in my life,
I won’t deny it,
Just don’t rewind it.
All this disappointment in my life,
All this disappointment in my life.

All I’ve got I got by my arms.
All I’ve not I haven’t tried hard enough.
All I ever want isn’t rational to choose.
At least I haven’t tried to follow suit.

You’re trying your best, but you’re best won’t do.
If you’re looking for credit, you’re not going to get it.
We use our contempt to discourage you.
And the only reason why, we’re afraid to try!

All I fought is worth the loss!
I am a longshot but not for long.
Trying to make it all on my own,
But only because no help has ever been shown.

I’ve tried my best, but I’m not about to break my back.
I’ve already broken more than that.


WENT TO CHURCH INSTEAD

I went to church instead.
That’s how I pay my debt.
I go though I suppose I don’t know what it is that I’m getting from it.

I went to church instead.
That’s how I pay my debt.
I know how much I owe and even if I go I’ll never break even.
I know I couldn’t give what I get.

And who among us could cast a stone or even step out of a crowd.
I couldn’t listen to good advice; I still resent the sound.
And I’m almost smothered now, but I’m finding my way out of the crowd.

I had the dream where I thought I died.
Then, woken up with a shot of light.
My heart was pounding out of my chest and I think I know the reasons why.
It scared me stiff and it sealed my eyes.
I cried and pled for another try.
I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry…
Well I’ve forgotten myself sometimes,
And how that dream can be realized,
But I will always remember the fear and the power that shook me inside.

And who among us can cast the stone or even step out of the crowd.
I couldn’t listen to good advice; I still resent the sound.
Can’t help but think of the walls I’ve built and if I’ll live them down.
And I’m almost smothered now, but I’m finding my way out of the crowd.

I went to church instead of doing things I did,
And saying things I’ve said,
And being where I’ve been,
I’ll never do it again…(Haha!)

I went to church instead.
(Conscience leave me alone!)
That’s how I pay my debt.
I hope my good intent will not go unnoticed though I feel it won’t matter after all that I did.

Hallelujah
I’ll let it set in or I’ll break before I will bend.
I’m going back where I should have started.
I’ll go back where I should have started.


I THINK I’M SUFFERING FROM MENOPAUSE (aka 11:34)

Everything I said before always had an element of remorse,
And you’d feel it if you have some too.
All the vices I abhor ended up dissolving what I adore.
I spilled it, but I should’ve never let it absorb.

I’ve been a part of it when I knew better.
I let the teeth sink in; I gave it flavor.
I should have kept my skin away from danger.
It was so evident by the things you used to chew.

(Not Yet)The greater weight will always sink to the bottom.
The deeper that it goes the more that it’s true.
You’ll never lose the guilt, but I want to be there to witness when you do.
You’ll swing from broken neck and twisted collar;
You’re not cursed; the curse is you!
Make something up to conceal your own problem;
I’d expect that from you.

Got caught, the description fits, Thrown in the fire.
You can’t come clean of it with soap and water.
The glove and shoe both fit; You’re not a martyr!
A lie has truth to it, so people believe them both.
The history is told before it can unfold.

I gotta save a little bit, I’m gonna run away with my head on my shoulders.
I know I said I wouldn’t do it, but I have to try. I have to try.
I never beg, I’d rather sweat, I’m gonna runaway, brush the weight off my shoulders.
I never said my goodbyes, but now that can’t matter anymore.

Need I say anymore? I said I didn’t. You said I did.

Gotta get control of it before they take it over.
So I’m not looking over my shoulder.
I took it on the chin, might have stumbled a bit, but I’m stronger.
You talk about it, while I make a record!!
I am all I am! I have done all I can!


KILL THE MESSENGER, KEEP THE MESSAGE (TEAM AWESOME)

Know right away who I carry to bed.
Know right away how to bury the dead.

“Drink from the pitcher I fill, lala.”
“Into the stomachs I chill, lala.”
“Out of the bladders I spill, lala.”

Why when I’m awake, eyes are open and they’re filling with lead? –I don’t know.
Why my complaint turns to jelly when the hammer is set? –I don’t know.
“Take from the message I steal, lala.”
“Pass off as heavenly will, lala.”
“In for the prominent kill, lala.”
“Bow for permission, bow now.”

Doubt that the mission that I’m missing is the same (as it is) in my head.
Out of my system, but my fingers try to pull it in.
Doubt that the people still remember things that I might have said.
Oh, but even wrong, the memory is all that’s left.

It’s almost over,
Get up! Get up! Get up!
Look how they look at you.
It doesn’t feel right.
It’s never over.
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
This doesn’t concern you.

“So who cares if it’s real, Dave.
It isn’t perfect and it never will.”
You’re always saying I won’t get it right,
So at least you’re saying something’s true.
So let’s draw that line.

Now there’s a business to revisit before we get anywhere.
The first sign of anger is the evidence that you really care.
Down to the business of forgiveness, is there any to share?
I’ve always gotta get it, never give it, nothings left.

When nothing feels good,
Get up! Get up! Get up!
What are we supposed to do?
Well, I just told you!
The worst is over.
The test is only mood.
Tim Kasher says it too.

So who cares, is it worth it?
It isn’t perfect and it never will.
There’s always someone there to save a life,
And at least someone to take a few.

It doesn’t feel right!
Look over your shoulder; They grin when they need to.
The chill of scavengers!
It doesn’t feel right!
It’s over, can’t you tell.
I will anticipate there’s something warm to make it go away.


BURN DOWN THE CHOIR WITH WHORE’S FIRE AND DEVIL’S IRE (Aka Striking These Cords)

Don’t be alarmed, there’s no choice as to when it’s your time.
Instead of acting kind, show your teeth and I will show you mine.
It’s not about the rope you climb as much as it’s about the height.
And what you neglect will eventually bind.

I swear it’s lost – the light we were given.
Six feet, dig it deep, bury me now.
Well, I shouldn’t talk of the torch or its burning.
I was one of the mouths blowing it out.

Now forced to choose between who you will and will not side.
Taken for a ride even though I’m on the drivers side.
Dismantled what was mine to start.
Embrace remains to start with new art.
So I’ll take these crumbs to feast upon new ones.

I haven’t got the apology you’ve given.
Knowing me and knowing you, you’ll never live it down.
The blood-thirsty stop, but only when they’re chewing.
Quenching their thirst from the veins I guard.
I swear I’m not forcing my dominion.
Glowing with irony, let it be found.
I can smell the rot, still miles from the ruin.

I find a recovery through words that I sing.
I’m striking these chords/cords so you can feel it.

We’ve gotta have what we’ve gained a taste for,
And what we see that’s lying around.
We’re far too high to help each other down.
We’ve got it back; desire to declare war.
So why are we still standing around?
We’ve got nothing to be fighting about.
But that hasn’t stopped us before…


CAPTION WITHHELD

I woke up tired as I’d ever been.
I guess I missed my bed and wound up on the floor.
I grew up disturbed.
You know how it goes.
Though I’ve never pretended,
I can still pretend that I fit in.
And the rest of my life would be more for me to bear.
Oh, and I’m on the path heading right back to the floor.

(All I know)
And that’s what’s in it for me, yeah.
It’s all I ever can see, yeah, for sure,
Ahh, is the end of my nose.

Don’t back down on your wedding.
This is just a warning you’re getting.
Gotta tell my wife or I’ll do it again.
Gotta do know what’s right, or I might be done in.
Oh who am I kidding? I’d be worse off living alone.
Oh, who am I kidding? She can see through me like a window.

(All I know)
And that’s what’s in it for me, yeah.
Another ugly disease, yeah, for sure, I’ll be living out alone.
That’s what’s in it for me, yeah, for sure, I’m heading out alone.

I don’t gamble, but I like Indians.
I really mean it, despite who it offends.
We talk like niggas ‘cause we have some as friends.
And ‘eff the Mormons ‘cause I’m one on weekends.
Viva Mariachi on their side of the fence.
Joke about faggots ‘cause we’ve all got cousins.
Oops, another “F” word we should add to the list.
Don’t tease a Muslim ‘cause they’ll blow you to bits.
We’re always right because we’re Americans.
To take back Hollywood, you’ll need some Germans.
Dig slanted eyes ‘cause I can speak Korean.
We deserve doubt and all of its benefits.
We’re always looking for a way to offend.
It’s always morphing for the bored audience,
Or just looking for reason to be offended.
They’ll keep us prejudice cause it’s good business.
I could be kidding, but I guess it depends on what you know about me and that’s what my point is.


YOU DESERVE A DISEASE

You try to make this last, but you can’t even face your past.
You gotta get a cut of individual incision.
Gotta have the grace of indivisible decision.
Get up on time, Hey! If it takes all night!
Try to pull the stitches out that hold us all together.
Gather all the stuffing to secure for colder weather.

Two times were enough to make me want to sure up the wall.
It crumbled on top of me and you stood there watching it fall.
I’ve wasted all this time with you, and I think I might have chipped my tooth, but at least I can smile!

You deserve a disease and you got it.
One that tears through your guts, yeah!
You deserve at least 3 at a time.
And there’s no better time like the one you’ve defined.
There’s no better time than the prime of your life!

Gotta stand up straight, gotta clear my mind, the more I hesitate, the problems multiply.
Only got one die but still I need to roll a seven.
Forcing empty hands to give me what I need to get in.
Of all the things I’ve done, that’s the only one that I consider all my fault.

I’m not sure, but who is…what to take from all this.

It’s understated, what I’m saying,
But I’ve said enough, you’re just out of touch,
And I think my voice can’t get any higher!
One sound can connect a tune,
One voice can persuade a few,
But it might take a while.
Can you handle the pressure you reflect when you cross a mirror?
Glassy-eyed and blood shot, but you’re never tired.
I’ll never have the mind to do all the things that you have conspired to.
So, at least I can still smile!

Complication is a company word
That’s all for the sake to improve.
That’s the least you can do.

I will lay in my body bag, matching colors with the toe tag.
Spell my name right or I’ll have to come back to haunt every fiber and bone that should have left me alone.


DICTION

I have no way to show you how to get the things you want.
I failed myself each time I’ve tried so you will also be flying blind.

I wanna know how it feels on the green grass of Beverly Hills
Where the spotlight brightens my day and warms my night.

Will I have to make compromise and depend on some skillful reprise?
Is it my name or is it my blood that’s on the line?

Is it more than a show?
Does it follow me home?
What’s my name?
What’s my line?
I forget most the time when undefined.

So what would you call it?
Is there a better word for dignity?
And so what if they want it?
Value-traded popularity.
Lie flat on the table.
Now we will perform your autopsy.
And finally know what you’re made of,
Verses what we’ve created,
And defend disparity.

Well, I am finally here on the green grass of Beverly Hills.
Like I’ve imagined every day, all my life.
I want to live creatively free so I won’t dance to every beat.
Even though I do suppose I’m keeping time.

Is it cold when the chill of the crowds change their will?
When their words meet your ears and what they have to say may be true but you won’t hear? You won’t hear.

So what would you call it?
I need a little dose of decency?
And so what if they want it,
Value-traded popularity?
Lie flat on the table.
Now we will perform your autopsy.
And finally know what you’re made of,
Verses what you’ve created,
And defend disparity.


DISQUIET TREMBLER

Stitches pulled and strained, Patches torn and frayed.
Disfranchised, the pace of sonnet, the grace of pantomime.
I suppose I’ll chase if you force the race. (On borrowed time)
But I don’t wanna chase the ghost inside.
I’d rather wait till morning if it stays the night.

If you’ve got the medicine, I’ll take it.
Invite the infant and I’ll shake it.
Out to find the one I won’t swallow when I could be at the end of my bottle.

Hush your mouth and I’ll speak mine.
Read your books and I’ll write mine.
Blink your eyes and I’ll wipe mine.
(Wake a ghost)
Well it’s too close to see or feel or recognize the problem to solve it now.
And that’s the kink in your plan.
You’re better off ignoring meaning than try to define it!

Since I’ve got the medicine, I’ll take it.
If I lose the symptoms, then I’ll fake it.
Another pill that you swallow that’s designed to keep you feeling so hollow.
Another problems been inflated.
Give it up, but only after operated.
There may not be a tomorrow.
If you need some time I’ve got some to borrow.

If I got this dance, I’m gonna get the chance to get away like I should do.
If I got this dance, will I afford to take the pain or give it back?
If I got this dance, I will not hurt you
Mother if I got this dance, I’m gonna have to hold you.
Mother if I’ve got this dance, I’ll take step and you follow.
And defend romance then, I’ll never beg or borrow, ah-ha!
If I got this dance, baby, gotta give me your hand.
And I’ll grow to a man, if I’ve got this dance!


BORED WITH THINGS

Bored with things.
Bored with things.
Note on the table, and I’m gone.

Bored with things.
Bored with things.
Since I remember, I’ve been bored with things.

I’m a novelty that’s overplayed.
Leave my family and I’ll be saved.

I’m bored with things.
Bored with things.
It’s so predictable.
I’m bored with things.

I’m a mother and I want to leave.
Child and husband can be so mundane.
I want to leave behind things boring life I made.
But I know I wouldn’t forgive myself so I just write it on a page.

Bored with things.
Bored with things.


MARK SO MADE

Every purpose brings an eminent goal.
Takes a degree or element of control.
I’ve had enough and I’m giving it back.
Return the magnet where the feelings attach.
When I don’t talk don’t suppose that I’ve got more words to disappoint on my mind.
Every fire is a fire I want, burning up along my way to the sun.

“Desperate for control, never do what you’re told.”

Sometimes there’s fire in my eyes.
Boils tears and hope I’ve stored.
But don’t take it too seriously.
(Every fire is conceived by something higher)
I’ve caught on fire before.

Relax, and pull your wings right off of your back.
Don’t you like it just like that?
Relax, and notice the other side of the tracks.
Don’t you hate it how people act?

Don’t pout, don’t blame, I’m living out what I can’t change.
Sometimes the wind is meant to blow a certain way.

A permanent mark leaves a place to end.
Now to find the place to start, you might have to descend.
Cut me to pieces on the dotted line.
I seem to wear marks where my skin meets the spine.
Every hero needs a natural foe.
Gain more confidence the further you go.

I feel the same way at this moment as when I find what I want and will never afford.

Hold tight, A-frame, I can’t support more than my weight.
The tide will change, and if it won’t I’ll take the shore.
(Don’t want to sail anymore?)
Stand high; swim deep, if you can stand the sting.
I’m taking it out tonight; I’m taking it for a ride!

It’s not a measured attack against your hesitance.
I’ve always stumbled before when I’d fall.
To find a better approach to things I’m up against.
50-foot latter. 40-foot wall.
It’s not a measured attack; OK, I guess it is.
It’s overwhelming so sometimes you gotta push it back.
But save some energy for the things you really need.
When you think about how you’re so small.


DRUGS RUINED MY FAVORITE PEOPLE (TRUE TO FORM)

I only feel good when I’m singing
I only feel good with guitar
But I only feel good when I’m playing in my own way

True to form, they hate me even more
But mild anger bleeds remorse

You’re violently poised and deceiving
You’ve blindfolded the eyes to your soul
The basis for permanent healing
Is the rule you can’t heal on your own

And I am yearning for healing
And I am ready for calm
So the palm must pressed to the wound

True to form, they hate me even more
And lie blameless to distort
I’ll fly away and fly alone
While my truth will take its form

I can’t go back
But if I could I would have never done that
And if I could go back
I would have let you sink without stretching out my hand

Who is it, who do you love?
Is it me, is it you, is it the music, or is it the drugs?
It’s either the music or the drugs.


SAFE & SOUND (FLESH INCARNATE)

I want a collar in my bed.
Dishonor calling, it might of heard what I said.
And the words of promise isn’t what you promised.
All I’ve got inside is noise.
And broken heartbeats-
Trapped in back seats-
Roll down a/the window I can’t breathe.
Scabbed and pissed on photograss I’m still…
Wading low.
Waning low.


THE BONE STOPPED THE BULLET

Better use your mind
(I told you that) The purpose is to use your mind
It’s better to be strong
But you miss the point if you just cannot get along

Stand strong don’t quit
It’s gonna have to sink in konk konk
Stand strong don’t quit
And don’t fall in love

Shoot first ask the questions later
No one did you a favor

Only need convenient competition
Greet the meek the flowers and demise
Rock to sleep their first born crying babies (and tie ‘em up)
Do their tear ducts ever dry? (De-flower and divide)

When I shoot first, ask the questions later
Salt tears are my favorite flavor
Or “milk tears, serve em hot, yeah!”
Deep down I’m an incubator
I live for button-flies, sweet deals and pillow fights, there’s nothing better!

Shoot first, ask the questions later
It knows where to go
It’s got a mind of its own
Don’t keep the bullet from the habitator
Shoot first, ask the questions later
He knows where to go

Do what I told you boy and don’t waste a second or we’ll get someone else
If your stomach turns and knots and groans, don’t let it appall you, it’s just proof that you’ve won.

Shoot first; ask the questions later (gotta gun)
I’ll know where to go (gotta gun) ‘cause I’ve been their befo’ (gotta gun)
Don’t keep the bullet from its habitator
Shoot first; ask the questions later (gotta gun)
I know where to go

Pay no mind to the conscience that comes behind an exceeding quarter or suit on back order

Pay no mind to the cross that you might find on the chest of a stranger or yard of a neighbor
You might find to turn a cheek you’ll save more time
But I will remember, forever linger
String on a finger will always come untied

They’ll Deflower, overpower and divide
Nowhere’s home to nowhere
But the bullet’s always begging for the ride

Better use my mind
The purpose is to use my mind
It’s better to be strong
I miss the point if I cannot get along
Stand strong don’t quit
There’s a lesson I’ll soon forget
Stand strong don’t quit
And don’t fall in love.


JUST CAN’T SLEEP BEFORE I SAY THIS

Gotta get this off my chest
With some broken English you’ll get
Gotta get this off my chest
With some of those words I used to share with you

We used to finish each others’ sentences
We used to follow that with favored pause (and not gather flaws)

Now it’s on purpose
The things I naturally do
I’m taking all the painkillers my doctor told me to

Bound by the lowly apology that will eventually have to give to you
I hope that you didn’t pretend to sleep when/if you were so confused and way too scared to move

Too many short days let ‘em last
Too many sharp pains let ‘em pass
Too many sharp pains.

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Sunset Alliance Mesa, Arizona

Since 1999

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