released March 1, 2023

Songs by Beninem (Benjamin Layne Shill)
Produced by DTalks (David Paul Jensen)

Art by Max & DPJ


_________________________


BENINEM
"AUTISTIC FLOW" LP
(ALL LYRICS)


(1) TEENAGE ROOTS

Walls all painted with graffiti art in the middle of the stage
All the straight edge hardcore kids are circling up
Their favorite band is playing some chords
The singer is setting it off
All heck breaks loose
On the floor of the mosh pit
On the floor of the mosh pit
Oh how them days seemed to have passed
Getting older just isn’t the same anymore
Could have been singing along
Until the voice is cracked
Or jumped off the stage
Until the feet can’t leap into the crowd anymore
Maybe even thrown a windmill
All that has lost its feel

Time has come and gone
Got to find something positive
To bring back the vibe of teenage roots
Can’t lose focus on what was so meant to be
I’ll get this back until it takes hold
Even for those who are not tough enough to do it
What has been running through the mind for so many days
It could break loose from its chains
Find the core of what meant something in those years of the 90s
Paying at the door was so cheap
It was a thrill ride that never passed
All it did was keep the pride full of momentum
Which could last forever

Chug on the breakdowns
This is for real

Hear the train rolling down
Listen for the yell of voice
It hits so hard, like a ton of bricks
It’s got a never ending feel
There has got to be something to hold onto
Broken records can’t be all over the ground
Come throw down that spirit filled music
Ahh, Help us find a body to move all over this space
The walls are cracking
They must be reinforced with something full of unbreakable strength

Call all who can last in this rage of night
Find a band to wake up the ghost
In this underground no mold of years
Before it can’t exist anymore

Ahh, It was disregarded as hope deep inside the heart
Breaking down the barriers
To rise above the negativity

No holding back
Just going the distance
Having struggled for so long
All that was there is gone
I dedicate this song to those friends of mine
Who brought me into what hardcore music is
For we all stand together
Never letting one fall back
All of us are united
Never stopping to let go.





(2) HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM

Alright, so it begins
And this go out to my mom, Karen
Because this is her birthday

Hip-hop hooray, it’s your birthday
I’m so grateful I’ve known you for all these years
Even through the times where I had so many tears
It’s so funny that years ago
I was going through so many hard times
But my mom kept me going
Even when the rhymes switched from being all happy
I always tried to keep on going
‘Cause my mom always set me straight
And kept me knowing what I needed to do
Even when sometimes I didn’t have a clue
I just want you to know that I love you so much Mom
And that I’d never be doing what I’m doing
If it weren’t for you being in my life
Even though it’s take me years
And I still don’t got a wife
But I’m so thankful to God
For blessing me with you
Because without you I would never know
Exactly how to get through things that I have
It’s really funny that in another way
My mom likes the Beatles, but I’m not really a fan
I just try to stay in the game-plan
If you know what I’m sayin’
Alright, I’ll check you later
I’m going out like I’m Heath Slater
Or maybe not exactly that way
But you know what I’m sayin’
I’m just out here in the heat
Tryin’ to keep a beat
So yo, Mom, I hope you like this
I’ll check you out again, in due time
Alright?
Bye.





(3) BACK IN THE DAY

Back, back, back in the Day
That’s what happened back in the day

Back in the day I fell off my skateboard
And it hurt real bad ‘cause I was so mad
That is when Ben found the ballpoint pen
And that’s how it started

Yo, I used to watch Fresh Prince
Get dice in his mirror
And I used to laugh so hard
I started wheezing from the laughter
It turned out to be a disaster
‘Cause I lost my marbles ha ha
Nobody cares
So I grew out my hair like Carrot Top
The guy who uses props to be funny
Only, the cops got his crops
And he ended up in the slammer
Like MC Hammer
Cause his songs about “can’t touch this”
Make my feet crazy

I ended up on the dance floor
Break dancing to a guy who should “beat it”
He checked me out
And no doubt, he fell on the floor
That day he knew I rapped a good song
Not about hitting a bong
My beats don’t go like that
I’d run out of space in my mind
And I don’t know what I’d find
‘Cause I don’t want to go blind
So get off your seat
I’m up here to rap in a comic way
There’s nothing you can say to change my way

Back, back, back in the day
That’s what happened back in the day


You can ‘boo’ me off stage
But I’ll still rage like a machine

Back in the day I ran cross-country
Got my unies in a bungie
That’s how I lost them
I tried to jump a fence
And my hands got stuck
Oh man I got all bloody
I got blinded by the sun
And I had no fun
That’s ok at least I walk on streets

Back, back, back in the day
That’s what happened back in the day

Sometimes life goes on
Till the break of dawn
Like that song--
--No I’m just kidding
That would be boring
We’d all be snoring
Like when we go to the dentist
Who gives us laughing gas
And we fall asleep
And we don’t know what happened

That’s what happened
Back in the day.





(4) TWIST OF THE WRIST

It seems as if I feel so insecure
My thoughts keep falling on the floor
Instead of on the table
Sometimes my words don’t come out just right
For the never-ending fight keeps going on

At times I often wonder if I’ll make it out alive
Or will hip-hop help me thrive?

I’m doing all my heart wants me to do
To find this clue which is somewhere underground
Haters try to creep in
But somehow I leap away from them into a mosh pit
They try to hard to find something to bind me
And they don’t see it at all

Because here on the microphone is where I’ll keep telling it like it is
Since it won’t be sewn into me
You know there’s nothing for real if it makes you peel like an apple
Yes, your head keeps spinning from the top axis which is on the ground, grinning
So do you want to take another step into this realm which will keep you awake?
I guess that you want to
Since I see you busting a move to the groove right now

What does this mean?
Are you gonna be a fiend on the dance floor, or what?
Dang, this does not want to stop
It seems so clever, that’s why you say never
I’ve been trying to make this hip-hop exist without the twist of my wrist
But where are the break dancers at, that choose to keep representing what is real?
Hey, drop!

That cut on the turntable so the people can get into this fable I am telling
Now do you understand what it is that gets you into the mood, or are you stuck eating food?

The magic is sprinkled onto you like a dream that is a beam in your mind
Please take your whoopee cushion somewhere else so the pushin will stop!
Please take your whoopee cushion somewhere else so the pushin will stop!
Please take your whoopee cushion somewhere else so the pushin will stop!

Does this make you see things any clearer after Beninem left a spot?
You will never get the foundation of people if you don’t get the explanation
Are you trying to get somewhere with a hit?
Which is on point without a joint
That keeps everyone from their stress
Yes, this mess has been spreading
Each and every culture is welcome to this demotion all because of this notion...

We will stay connected when this has ‘Ben’ rejected by those who don’t see how ambitious this is.
Nothing is harder than trying to keep above nega-ga-tivity
When all you’ve got is creativity flowing mad

Fresh and throwing down in full effect
As is always on check in the hardcore way
We will stay connected when this has become rejected by those who don’t see how ambitious this is!
Nothing is harder than trying to keep above negativity when you’ve got creativity flowing mad!

Fresh and throw down in full effect!
It is always on check, in the hardcore way!





(5) DINE OUT aka I LOVE BEING HAPPY

It’s been hard to release myself of thoughts deep inside the cranium
Because the ooze of all this has felt like uranium to my mind
I hide myself from the news because it’s so bleak to look at how messed up things are
You can’t live without chaos going on
I wish things were so different
The want to be in front of a creek instead of darkness on a screen
Really miss thinking back to when goofing off meant everything was fine
Not having memories of feeling that are close to turbulence in a plane
Just want to be somewhere where friends can dine on good things
How does all this danger become what is broken down (to the color of skin or something you wear as a badge--because all this hate for hate only escalates the problem. It could be broken down in another way.) in any other way.
I always think of the manger because that is where Christ was born
Peace doesn't have to be a weapon or a building on fire, It could be what gives you hope
When sometimes days hardly ever appear positive
The norm of today isn't what gives a beat it's dire need to exceed boundaries no matter how you want that
As if to have hope the silence that comes with years of hostility towards opposition
You can only change anarchy by fighting back till the sky turns blue
Because all this flipping upside down only takes away what many fought for you
You can't burn it because the minute you try, out of nowhere the flag will fly
As a clue of what Americans fight hard to keep strong
I didn't want to do this, but I've been hiding for too long
Hip hop made me woke so long ago
So the time has come to bring back what is mental
Because thoughts of being lost are over
Got to build a house with sides that will never split when a storm comes with strong wind
Cause I’m so tired of all that’s going on
All over the news, on the radio, friend talkin’ crap
About people who are different, and so much more
I wish I could wire a radio station and blast my feelings
So everybody would hear them, “I love being happy!”
When things are good, if all this stuff is misunderstood, then I guess I might have to go get a Laffy Taffy.
I love being happy
I love being happy
I love being happy
I love being happy





(6) FLASHING BACK TO CLASSIC TIMES

I’m kicking it back to growing up with hip hip blowin’ in your ears
So take a seat in front of the beat droppin’ from the DJ
He was gettin’ the break dancers crackin’

Everybody get ready to set it off like me and my friends
Who like to get rock-steady, yo!
It’s like a bad reaction when your shoes lose traction
From all the windmill backspins on the wooden floor
Ready for more, so open that door to the underground of the old school
We don’t throw down like a sucker
Just ask my brother, you don’t have to take my word
Unless you act like a nerd and forget what you heard
Within this constellation this will be droppin’ all over the nation
If you’re in our galaxy
Don’t get stuck in Toledo
Where a cow-blower offers some Cheetos!

Look out for the food junkie I’m feeling kinda funky
For eating too many snickerdoodles and ramen noodles
Let’s throw it in a hoop and I’ll get back to the scoop
So come out with your crew, we’ll provide the Mello Yellow
Because it’s cheaper than Nello’s pizza

Don’t forget your cue when the beat drops, it drops for you
There’s no stoppin’
Eh-everybody dance, put on your parachute pants
This may be your last chance

After the 80’s came and went
Some people worried that their lives were spent
Let’s give them a reason to be alive
By reviving the sound of real hip hop, right on the spot

You can drive your car from where you are
Wearing your “time to get fresh” shoes and become a star
It’s not completely sub-par to rap bizarre, hardy-har-har!

Time to put on some bands to get ready
Get ‘Rad’ on this fad from the 80’s
Pick up that skateboard from Bare Cover
Ride the quarter-pipe, feel the hype that’s better than a drug!
Just watch out for the cop
You know I seem to latch on to what the heck you’re doing
‘Cause shredding is better than fretting over someone who doesn’t commit a crime
Even when busting a rhyme

Stay smart when you’re not on your session
But making it a profession
And keep away from posers
We got the AZ Crews of Scares
Taking down them haters
One at a time, like Optimus Prime

Are all you guys gonna miss ‘throwback’
Or do you need to drink a six-pack of Pepsi

I’ll leave it up to you to determine your own journey
But keepin’ yourself from being in a gurney
It doesn’t seem like ET’s very outta sight
So here ya go!

One by one, the beats will come
And you know you want to get some
Instead of twiddling your thumbs

‘Cause you don’t ever forget the disaster with this jam
Keeps getting faster right inside of a boombox blaster

So whatcha, whatcha, whatcha wanna do
Celebrate on the past to feel the blast to send you back

So whatcha, whatcha, whatcha wanna do
Celebrate on the past to feel the blast to send you back

You won’t soon forget how the record scratches in your mind
Like graffiti on a wall

Flashing back to classic times! Ah-ha-ha-ha!
Flashing back to classic times!
Flashing back to classic times! Ah-ha-ha-ha!

‘Cause you know when I drop this the beat will never stop
What do you even think you have to do, a bunny hop?

So keep thinking back to the days of old
‘Cause I’m gonna keep it fresh, like tenfold!





(7) FRUIT LOOP RUN

This song is dedicated to Coach Jackson
You are such a great inspiration

I can remember a time where I’ve been running cross country for a bit
It was so hard, I couldn’t keep up with anyone because of being slow at that moment

Then a pack of guys came to the back like they was wolves
Ready to tear down the canal way real fast

They helped me so much
There seemed to be no feeling of being cursed by my legs

Each time we ran it seemed tough to do
But I always thought maybe it will get better

So giving up never was the case
I broke down like it was an MC battle where the rhyme landed hard

Falling down
Get back up
When it hurts
He was winning. He was running.

On this certain day we were told that we’d be doing this run that was called “The Fruit Loop Run”
I remember it very well and for certain this time in particular

It had to be one of the hardest runs ever
Because it was 8 miles long
So we started going down trail
I’m trying hard for some rad thing to happen

I keep within, not too far off the seniors, who were doing it too
But then we get to the canal area
Something happened--
A couple of guys hopped the fence and jumped into the water
They weren’t supposed to do that
In my mind thoughts came out, so it seemed
But the puns(plunge) was on them
‘Cause man somebody got itchy from it!

Falling down
Get back up
When it really hurt
He was running. He was winning.

But that being said, I have quite a few stories about them years!
We were even at a meet when we all had to hurry to the front
Because of wanting to fight “Waste-wood Warriors, take-any-weapon” cross country team
Because they called us rich teenagers with cars, though it wasn’t the case!

Promptly, no gunners had to be used
I’m not talkin’ ‘bout shootin’ weapons, but fists!

Falling down
Get back up
When it hurts
He was running. He was winning.

Hey Randle-baby, what you got on that?!





(8) LATE BUT KEEN

Hip hop always got me on the run
Every time I listen it makes me want to lift a tone of beats out of my mind
Sometimes I don't even know where these lyrics come from
They are not kindle to my fire
But then again it only takes one match to set a blaze

I’m late, but I’m keen
Do you all know what I mean

I'm always thinking about how this became so much a part of me
Because things were missing before picking up hidden gems in the mind
A lot of them carried weight, but I didn't have clue how much they were worth
But when kids were dissing me words came out which blew their minds

I’m late, but I’m keen
Do you all know what I mean

Funny how kids don't understand karma is a beast
They never thought poking fun would do anything
I'd guess don't mess with me because when ya do a curse will come

I shower emcees out daily
They have no idea what they're doing on me

Kicking up the dirt in the southwest
You know I'm not the character on a cartoon yet
Dang, who let Physique go bonkers?
It wasn't me, I’m late but I’m keen

I have rolled BMX tires so fast the air gets dusty by time that it is over
Years ago I tried to launch along a ramp
Sure wanted it to be fun, yet fell to the side -- not enough speed
What a funny thing to happen
Yeah, because getting up is so easy?
Ha!





(9) JUST ASK JOHNNY

The only way to keep hip hop true
Is by keeping it real every single time
It doesn’t matter how the beat goes
‘Cause the lyrics are clean like a cup that came out of the dishwasher
The only way to keep hip hop true is by keeping it real every single time
Every single time.

How do you like me now?

Nobody got to get that extra rinse
‘Cause the beep is neither here nor there

No reason to take a cues
From those who cling to the static from being all gangster
If I had wanted that, why Ice T would be giving me clues
On when to say “boom blaw sucker”

As an MC I never came from the hood
The only thing that got shot was a toy cap gun
It never put no bullet into anyone --

Just Ask Johnny

Nah I don't see a reason to talk about all the homies down on the block
That would only be cool if the gang was jumping some fool
Then you might hear somebody say that guy got served up like cream puff
Just ask Johnny about that
Just ask Johnny about that

How do you like me now - Just Ask Johnny

But everyone knows the season is only for the outsiders
The real tough guys
They always beat the rich kids.





(10) OPEN LETTER TO DPJ, aka “BROS FOR LIFE”

Well, I am back again
This one goes out to my friend David P Jensen

Years ago back when I was in high school, I remember that
I ran cross country and he was on my team, and
When I was running,
And not doing very well with keeping up with all of the team
He, and all the guys came back to where I was
And they ran with me, and
Helped me to, to push down the way, and
Helped me to keep going at it
When those times were not so easy

And at that time I hadn’t really ran long distance
And so To try to push myself to do something that was very hard
It was great to have him and all the other guys helping
To push me to keep trying
And not give up!

And then we were really good friends
And we hanged out on “Mill,”
And we talked a lot

And then some years after that
I remember seeing him at like a party
And he was in a band that was called “Before Braille.”

During that time there was a kid that was at the same job that I had
And he told me that I couldn’t write a hip hop song
So, that’s what I did
And then, I showed it to Dave
And he took a look at it
But then, asked me to read it

And so I read it to him
And he was laughing really hard
But not necessarily like, at me,
But at the fact that I had done that
And that it was really good
And then out of the blue
And I had no clue
That he was gonna ask me to get up on stage
And perform, perform a song!

We’d pay all for love

And then as time went on
His band broke up
And I wasn’t sure what I was going to do
And then he took off for a bit
And then we found each other again
And I got to record in a studio
With none other than Bob Hoag
And we recorded a couple songs, and then
Now we just kept with it
And it’s been all these years
And here I am still today, making rhymes
And doing that sort of thing

And it’s just amazing to have that
And to be where I”m at!

And so, ahhh
I just wanna say, um
Thank you David P Jensen
You're one of the greatest guys I’ve ever known
And has done so much for me
I just cannot thank you enough

And being able to overcome autism
I can for sure say
That I wouldn't have been able to without you
And love you so much
I’m thankful to have you in my life

You’ll always be my bro!
And I will always stand with ya
And stick up for ya
No matter what happens

You’ll always be my bro!


[END]